The Lonely Cheating Wives website has stirred up quite a controversy. It does help bring excitement into someone’s sex life if they think about having “hot sex” with a “cheating” spouse.

However, is it ethical to even pretend about a matter like this? Differing of opinions are presented about this as questions are answered about whether this is really a pretend concept or a real one.

This can help you decipher whether or not this is a legitimate and more means of sexual enhancement. Can this really improve the passion between couples who have been together for years and years?

Pros

If you pretend that you are involved with a cheating wife it can possibly help strip you of any inhibitions and fears. It can provide as an aid to help you let your guard down with your longtime partner or spouse.

It can get you thinking “what if?” Meaning what if you did not have to be afraid of what your significant other may think of you if you want to fulfill some of your wildest fantasies with him or her.

It is seen as some people as a tool to help them open up sexually among one another. It is also seen as a way to open up new doors of sexual play according to the ideas collaborated by the couple.

Cons

Since we are talking about the subject of “cheating” it can seem very immoral. The act of cheating in and of it self is considered by most people’s standards very wrong.

Of course, to some perspectives the “Lonely Cheating Wives” is considered just a “pretend” cheating. However, it still promotes adultery-an activity that is severely punished in some parts of the world.

Adultery and cheating is also considered very much a sin according to those who believe in the Bible. Many scripture references here say cheating is wrong. The word “infidelity” is another way to describe this act.

The other problem with this concept is that when people see the ad “Lonely Cheating Wives” one of two things crosses their mind. They may feel excitement and think that maybe they would try this service.

Either that or they might turn away in total discuss. The ones that would turn away in total discuss probably would get the idea that this involves actually wives who really do cheat on their husbands.

Conclusion

You would have to make up your own mind about how seriously you would take this concept. The fear is that you could possibly become tempted to actually “for real” cheat on your partner.

However, perhaps if you think of it as fantasy role playing and not more than that perhaps for some people that is how the concept is justified. As long as you really do not cheat on your partner perhaps it really is okay to use this type of role playing.

The problem really starts if you actually do cheat on your mate. After that all kinds of issues related to trust ensue.

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In a dream scenario, you and a wonderful girl have just finished a wonderful first date. It was the kind of evening where everything went to plan, she laughed at all your jokes – even the bad ones – and you shared a modest, but magical, kiss goodnight. You’re left to walk home and enjoy the rest of the night in that pleasant glow of having met someone special – until you wake up the next morning.

With the pleasantries of the night before a memory, albeit a pleasant one, a question is suddenly raised. When, exactly, is it appropriate to call a girl after the first date?

It’s a question that has been dominating the minds of anyone in a new relationship for at least the last 30 years. Suddenly, the days of arranged marriages and your parents deciding who you marry seem hugely tempting. After all, the decision of when to pick up the phone is littered with pitfalls; call too early and you may appear over-eager, call too late and she may have decided you were never going to call and have moved on. It’s an extremely delicate balance.

Unfortunately, there isn’t any certain answer. If the general perception of calling too soon were to be believed, no man who had ever called a girl the next day after the date would be married – but that isn’t true. There’s also a multitude of people who left it for weeks before calling, for whatever reason, yet still got the girl in the end.

The trick is to judge the girl, not the situation. Does she strike you as the type who wants you to put your cards on the table and be honest? If so, calling the next day isn’t a problem – just leave it until a normal hour. If, however, she seems to want to be wooed and dazzled by your macho side, leave it for a couple of days. Having spent an evening in her company, you should have at least a vague idea of which option is more likely to suit.

Whatever the situation and type of girl she is, one thing you should never do is leave it until a week or more before you dial her number. By that point, she’ll have given up on you. Although the situation isn’t irretrievable, the best bet is to wait for a maximum of four days if you decide to play it that way. Any longer, and you might get her answering machine – because she’s out on another first date, but this time, not with you.

Once upon a time, when the check arrived at the end of a meal, the man paid. This was a given, socially accepted and understood by all. But the onset of feminism has clouded the waters somewhat, leaving many men almost afraid to offer to pay for dinner in case they are labelled chauvinistic. On the flip side, women often regard men who don’t offer to pay as skinflint – peril awaits with both options. So what’s a man to do?

When the check arrives, the best advice is to wait a second and see how the girl you’re on the date with reacts. Some women may automatically move for their handbag, in which case you know she at least wants to contribute – still offer to pay, but don’t force the issue. If she’s looking around the room and at anything but the check, chances are she’s an old-fashioned girl and expects you to pick up the tab.

When setting off on a date, always be ready for having to pay. Never assume – even if the woman seems to be very big on feminism – that she will pay. If she was expecting you to pay and you’ve not brought your wallet, it’ll probably be the death of a promising relationship. If you are paying yourself, do it quietly and discreetly and never imply that she in any way now “owes” you. Ridiculously, some men do do this, even if it is just with a cheeky comment.

In most situations, however, the woman will offer to pay fully or at least contribute. In these circumstances, insisting you want to pay is fine – but only do it once. Anything more than that and you’re bordering on insulting. If after your first insistence she still wants to go Dutch, accept it graciously. It is then critical that you don’t fall into the trap of trying to decide who ate what and paying for your own food – simply halve the bill between you, even if she did order more. If she does want to itemize what was ordered, go with it and be honest.

At all times, no matter who ends up punching their PIN number into the machine, be gracious and appear generous – but never insistent. The best thing is that, over time, this problem will solve itself as you get to know each other. So even if the first check arrival is uncomfortable, the next one will be ten times easier.

First dates in themselves are perilous enough, so how does one go about finding the perfect location or activity to do during it? No one needs the added angst of making a poor decision about what to do on a first date, so it’s well worth doing your research.

As far as first dates go, the stereotypical “dinner and a movie” is quite a decent option. Schedule it so that you see the film first, then go to dinner – this should give you an easy conversation starter if there are any awkward pauses. Since the occasional awkward pause seems to be a prerequisite for a first date, having a topic of conversation at hand can be extremely useful.

However, dinner and a movie isn’t exactly… inventive. If you want to appear a little more spontaneous and thoughtful, you are going to have to put a bit of work in to it. What are her interests? If the answer is something like art, history, museums or theatre – then the ideal location for the first date is obvious. However, it is important to plan with her – there’s no point buying tickets for a theatre show or a museum exhibit that she’s already seen.

Over recent years, dating experts have tried to suggest activity-type first dates, such as snowboarding (at a permanent slope) or playing golf. Yet these first dates are fraught with worry, and while they may seem like a good ice-breaking which offers natural conversation points, they can actually be more hassle than they’re worth. Activities like these require a certain level of easy banter, something which isn’t exactly plentiful on the majority of first dates.

No, the best advice is to keep it simple – dinner and a film, show, gallery or even place of historical interest. Putting a little effort in to selecting the venue will get you far more Brownie points than any snowboarding pass ever could.

Unless you want to disappoint a lot of people – and find yourself branded a liar – the only way to approach the content of your profile page is to do it honestly.

If you haven’t had a date in awhile, it might seem like a wonderful idea to tell women of the internet, via your profile, that you earn a ridiculous amount of money, are often mistaken for Brad Pitt and that you don’t even really like football. But the fact remains that as soon as you meet up with any women offline – which, of course, is the entire point – you’re going to be discovered pretty quickly.

Start with a brief, genuine overview of your life – occupation, education, interests, living situation. There’s no need to write the dating profile equivalent of War and Peace; a couple of paragraphs is all you need to convey a sense of self.

Within this, an absolute must is to be extremely careful with your spelling and grammar. It may seem judgmental, but many women will dismiss someone as a possible match purely because they write badly. Structure sentences properly, capitalise the necessary letters and at all costs avoid abbreviated ‘txt spk’.

As a finishing touch, you should personalize your profile a little beyond the standard information and ‘about me’ section. Write a little about your favourite memories, and why they’re important to you. This offers a little glimpse into your psyche that most women will appreciate. But once again, the cardinal rule applies – be truthful! Use a real memory, no matter how embarrassing you perceive it to be, as so long as you can word properly why it means so much, it will be understood.

When it comes to joining one of the hundreds of online dating websites available, you will always be asked to create a “Profile”. This is basically your space, your page, on the website which you fill with information about yourself. Women signed up to the website can then browse that page and, if they like what they see, contact you.

The profile page is, therefore, the most crucial part of your online dating experience. Get it wrong, and no one will contact you. Get it right, and you could just be beating them off with a stick.

The first, and most important aspect, of the profile is the picture. A recent UK study conducted by Match.com revealed that 70% of people won’t even bother to read a profile that doesn’t feature a picture; so including one is a must. However, do make sure it’s a photograph of yourself and was taken in the last five years! If things go well online, you could soon be meeting the women offline, and you really don’t want their first thought to be “good Lord, he’s gained weight / aged badly” etc.

Choose a good, clear, well-lit picture in which you look good, but not so good it looks like you’ve been using PhotoShop. If you are going grey, have a bald patch or a bit of paunch, it really is best to let the photo show that – there’s no need to make it dominant, but don’t make any particular effort to hide it.

Women are more likely to respond to photographs in which you’re laughing or smiling, so even if you don’t have a current good photograph of you with a cheerful expression, take some specifically. There’s no need to overdo it and come across as the second, human coming of the Cheshire Cat, but a gentle smile of genuine relaxed pleasure should do well.

Your photo should never be too “busy” - try and pick one in which you are the only person in it. Make sure you’re dressed well, and no matter how good you look in a bathing suit, always make sure you are at least dressed. Avoid “comedy” poses and “cute” poses – such as ones in which you’re holding a kitten – and, so long as the photograph is a true representation of yourself looking your best, you can’t go far wrong.

Women often tell me that men confuse them and that they are unsure what a man is really looking for. They have tried to please them in the past and it hasn’t worked so no, the man can concentrate on pleasing them or leave. If the media is to be believed, many women don’t care what a man is looking for anymore because they have been empowered by their own sexuality and are comfortable in their new role as sexually liberated career woman in charge of their own destiny. In which case, as long as the man wants them, that is fine.

It doesn’t matter whether that view is actually true or not. What is true is that the modern man is increasingly struggling to find his place in the world. The Armed Forces and Space programs quite rightly have very highly qualified career women working in their departments and in most aspects of industry, women are excelling. The old male bastions are crumbling and with them their innate self respect as well as their understanding of how they should act and what they desire.

Any woman reading this may say well it’s a problem for men and they should deal with it. Absolutely I can reply, but you cannot expect miracles instantly. Generations of history dictating a man’s role and function cannot be decided and altered in the space of 20 years without some fallout. Few can argue against the excitement felt by women as their empowerment continues but at the same time, one must expect issues to coincide with this. And one of those as I said is the question of understanding what the modern man is looking for.

Men have started to evolve and are starting to grasp the fact that their role may not be as it once was. ‘Starting’ is the operative word because this does not mean that there aren’t large swathes of the world where men insist on being the breadwinner and women should still remain at home rearing children. It is going to take a long time to change the world. However in our western cities a change is in full swing. Men know that to find a mate they are going to have to work harder than ever before and they are aware that women call the shots far more than ever before. But this doesn’t essentially change what a man is looking for.

Okay so what is a man seeking?

• First of all a man is seeking a love-interest. This may surprise many women but men like to love and they like being loved in return. The problem is that many women come across as impassioned and cold. It is not easy to find a loving woman and it is very noticeable how many men try and hang on when they think they have found their Miss Right.

• Men are seeking a woman who is attractive to them. Women may despair that men can be so shallow and that looks could matter so much but be careful. Men aren’t necessarily looking for a catwalk model and many men don’t like women who weigh 80lbs. But men do want a woman who takes pride in their appearance (though not excessively). Men are proud of having a girlfriend who looks good and I don’t believe any man who says otherwise.

• Men are looking for a trustworthy girl, someone they can have faith in and someone who will be there for them. This may sound like an odd thing to say, but the fact is, some women are not trustworthy and many are not faithful either. So many in fact that men are increasingly wary. That kiss at a  Christmas party may not count, or the flirtatious behavior with the gorgeous barman and in fact its all great fun and part of a woman’s character. But reverse the situation and as a woman, you hate him doing the same. A man can never forgive a woman being unfaithful and so he is looking for someone who he really does trust.

• Men want to make a home eventually and are looking for a woman who will be a willing sharer in home life. Women with a sociable lifestyle are attractive because they can be relied upon to keep the social diary running in a long term relationship.

• Men are seeking women who are feminine gentle and kind because deep down the qualities that make a woman a great mother are an attraction in themselves. I am not suggesting that the man himself needs mothering, though some do, it is more the point that men seek the attributes in women that point to someone who would make a great mother to future offspring.

• Men want women with a great sense of humor. Women often come across as uptight or too bothered by too many small details. You will sometimes hear mention of a girl who is ‘one of the boys’. What this means is that she is able to fit in with their humor and is sociable and fun to be with. Such women are extremely attractive to many men. Men want to have a good time and relax when not working and so their ideal partners are women who are able to do the same.

• Men are looking for women who retain their femininity and and are caring and kind. In recent years, aping men may be a female fashion statement, but it doesn’t make them attractive. Whilst every woman in the world burps and farts and has the right to drink pints of beer, it doesn’t necessarily attract them to the opposite sex. Women can get angry and say well men will just have to get used to it, but the issue is that they don’t. They can just choose not to go for women who act in the same way as their drinking buddies.

• Men want someone who is supportive. Many women are quick to criticize men in their behavior, career and set about trying to alter them and mould them. This is a crucial mistake. Men can be manipulated yes, but they see their partnerships as support systems. The best relationships work both ways in terms of support. Where a woman is not able or willing to give that support and is too quick to criticize then she may lose her man.

• Men don’t like angry women who shout. They want a woman who can debate and converse and is able to discuss. Communication is king. A fiery passionate temperament may have made you interesting and challenging on day one. But by day 500 it holds no glory whatsoever.

• Men love a challenging woman, someone who keeps them on their toes. Men are generally lazy in relationships once they feel they’re in secure territory. When a man is challenged so he does something about it. If you want to keep your man interested, keep him challenged.

• Men are generally more reserved about sex than women. This is my experience is a fact. Men know what they like in bed and tend to stick to it. The adventurous sexual appetite in most men isn’t there even if they are convinced it is. Men in reality are quite conservative. Sexually adventurous has nothing to do with having lots of partners and more to do with the things they will try with the same partner. In most test cases I have conducted, it is the man who looks for a quiet time in the bedroom and the woman who ultimately becomes bored.

• Men want a woman who will commit to them. Though increasingly this is hard to find, it doesn’t take away the wish. Men want a girlfriend who they can share with and trust and be open with. Commitment is not a one way street and therefore men are struggling to find the levels of commitment they found previously. But the need is still there.

• Men don’t want to be alone.

This column can easily fire a great debate and I may be accused of being completely wrong but that is the beauty of opinions. We all have them. The fact is, a modern man is seeking a reliable, sexy, single girl with whom he can have a long term relationship with. He wants to have fun, share his life and ultimately settle down. There are a few long term bachelors but not that many. The problem guys have is that the world has changed. They don’t necessarily want to have children and settle down straight away, but it will come. They do seek self-respect even if they are not the primary breadwinner and they seek respect from their partner.

Whilst women become increasingly strong in their new roles in society, it is worth remembering that it takes, and always will take, two to tango.