In a dream scenario, you and a wonderful girl have just finished a wonderful first date. It was the kind of evening where everything went to plan, she laughed at all your jokes – even the bad ones – and you shared a modest, but magical, kiss goodnight. You’re left to walk home and enjoy the rest of the night in that pleasant glow of having met someone special – until you wake up the next morning.

With the pleasantries of the night before a memory, albeit a pleasant one, a question is suddenly raised. When, exactly, is it appropriate to call a girl after the first date?

It’s a question that has been dominating the minds of anyone in a new relationship for at least the last 30 years. Suddenly, the days of arranged marriages and your parents deciding who you marry seem hugely tempting. After all, the decision of when to pick up the phone is littered with pitfalls; call too early and you may appear over-eager, call too late and she may have decided you were never going to call and have moved on. It’s an extremely delicate balance.

Unfortunately, there isn’t any certain answer. If the general perception of calling too soon were to be believed, no man who had ever called a girl the next day after the date would be married – but that isn’t true. There’s also a multitude of people who left it for weeks before calling, for whatever reason, yet still got the girl in the end.

The trick is to judge the girl, not the situation. Does she strike you as the type who wants you to put your cards on the table and be honest? If so, calling the next day isn’t a problem – just leave it until a normal hour. If, however, she seems to want to be wooed and dazzled by your macho side, leave it for a couple of days. Having spent an evening in her company, you should have at least a vague idea of which option is more likely to suit.

Whatever the situation and type of girl she is, one thing you should never do is leave it until a week or more before you dial her number. By that point, she’ll have given up on you. Although the situation isn’t irretrievable, the best bet is to wait for a maximum of four days if you decide to play it that way. Any longer, and you might get her answering machine – because she’s out on another first date, but this time, not with you.

Once upon a time, when the check arrived at the end of a meal, the man paid. This was a given, socially accepted and understood by all. But the onset of feminism has clouded the waters somewhat, leaving many men almost afraid to offer to pay for dinner in case they are labelled chauvinistic. On the flip side, women often regard men who don’t offer to pay as skinflint – peril awaits with both options. So what’s a man to do?

When the check arrives, the best advice is to wait a second and see how the girl you’re on the date with reacts. Some women may automatically move for their handbag, in which case you know she at least wants to contribute – still offer to pay, but don’t force the issue. If she’s looking around the room and at anything but the check, chances are she’s an old-fashioned girl and expects you to pick up the tab.

When setting off on a date, always be ready for having to pay. Never assume – even if the woman seems to be very big on feminism – that she will pay. If she was expecting you to pay and you’ve not brought your wallet, it’ll probably be the death of a promising relationship. If you are paying yourself, do it quietly and discreetly and never imply that she in any way now “owes” you. Ridiculously, some men do do this, even if it is just with a cheeky comment.

In most situations, however, the woman will offer to pay fully or at least contribute. In these circumstances, insisting you want to pay is fine – but only do it once. Anything more than that and you’re bordering on insulting. If after your first insistence she still wants to go Dutch, accept it graciously. It is then critical that you don’t fall into the trap of trying to decide who ate what and paying for your own food – simply halve the bill between you, even if she did order more. If she does want to itemize what was ordered, go with it and be honest.

At all times, no matter who ends up punching their PIN number into the machine, be gracious and appear generous – but never insistent. The best thing is that, over time, this problem will solve itself as you get to know each other. So even if the first check arrival is uncomfortable, the next one will be ten times easier.

First dates in themselves are perilous enough, so how does one go about finding the perfect location or activity to do during it? No one needs the added angst of making a poor decision about what to do on a first date, so it’s well worth doing your research.

As far as first dates go, the stereotypical “dinner and a movie” is quite a decent option. Schedule it so that you see the film first, then go to dinner – this should give you an easy conversation starter if there are any awkward pauses. Since the occasional awkward pause seems to be a prerequisite for a first date, having a topic of conversation at hand can be extremely useful.

However, dinner and a movie isn’t exactly… inventive. If you want to appear a little more spontaneous and thoughtful, you are going to have to put a bit of work in to it. What are her interests? If the answer is something like art, history, museums or theatre – then the ideal location for the first date is obvious. However, it is important to plan with her – there’s no point buying tickets for a theatre show or a museum exhibit that she’s already seen.

Over recent years, dating experts have tried to suggest activity-type first dates, such as snowboarding (at a permanent slope) or playing golf. Yet these first dates are fraught with worry, and while they may seem like a good ice-breaking which offers natural conversation points, they can actually be more hassle than they’re worth. Activities like these require a certain level of easy banter, something which isn’t exactly plentiful on the majority of first dates.

No, the best advice is to keep it simple – dinner and a film, show, gallery or even place of historical interest. Putting a little effort in to selecting the venue will get you far more Brownie points than any snowboarding pass ever could.

If you like some one you may have to ask them for a date. For men this is standard practise and for women, this process is becoming increasingly common. If you are thinking of asking someone on a date consider the following quick dating tips:

1. Why are you asking them out, is it for the right reasons and what do you expect as a result of them saying yes or no?

2. Be prepared that the person you ask may say no and in which case do not take the rejection personally.

3. When asking someone out choose your moment carefully and practise what you might say in advance so that you don’t appear tongue-tied.

4. If the person you ask says yes, ensure you already have thought of a place, date and time for the date so that you display signs of thoughfulness.

5. Be prepared for the person asking why you want to date them so that you are able to flatter and create a sense of trust immediately. People can be wary and they may want to know some reasosn behind your request. Better, anticipate this by saying “would you like to come to dinner, I have always thought you are great fun..”.

6. Make sure that your request for a date does not pressurize the person in any way. If they want to think about it, let them. But don’t chase.

7. Make sure that when you ask someone on a date you smile and keep things fun and happy. Being confident and smiley will elicit a far more positive response.

8. Always have an alternative date and time or location in mind should the person be unsure of their diary. Giving a person a choice is often a marketing masterstroke.

9. If the person says no, don’t chase for a reason, simply move on. They may think about things and get back to you with a yes response later.

10. If you ask someone on a date, make sure that you actually intend to go through with it. Standing people up is not allowed.

11. If you are being asked out don’t play games. If you need time to consider the offer then say so. If you want to say no, say no. But do not keep someone hanging on for no reason. You wouldn’t like the situation if it was reversed.

12. Try to avoid dutch-courage such as using alcohol to boost your courage levels as this will often backfire.

13. Don’t ask someone out when they are in a group of friends. Timing is everything.

Personal Ads are an art from in their own right. For decades, personal ads have appeared in magazines and newspapers all over the world and people had to think of how to describe themselves in 25 words or less. It was difficult, impossible really, almost like the winning caption for a competition. But as none of us would like to be described as a competition prize so dating has evolved too. These days very sophisticated personal ads are appearing in top quality dating sites like LoveBrowser.com. Luckily modern profiles are detailed and in depth and often offer multiple choice with hundreds if not thousands of answers to select from. However you are still describing yourself. It need not be so hard to make a free profile and get yourself dating again in an instant if you take some free advice that I offer you here.

If you want to get the best of your personal ads membership, try to present the right image, get people to interact with you by chatting daily, and become popular by being friendly. But these basics may help:

Obvious one - complete your personal ad profile fully. No, not partially ! Fully! And accurately! There is nothing worse for a browsing member than spending their quality time opening your profile only to find your profile is full of Ask Me statements. So ….Be informative, be complete, be thorough, be of interest.

Add a photograph or two or even four! Amazingly, members with photos in their personal ads are likely to get up to 9 times more replies than members without any photo image attached to their profile. Okay, I know we aren’t all photogenic models, but believe me - any photo is far better than none at all.

Don’t be aggressive or rude in personal ads. It may be your sense of humor to be sarcastic or cutting, but it doesn’t always come across best in anonymous text. Biting hammer in the first instance will not usually attract the desired attention, even if it’s meant to be amusing. That comes once you are chatting.

You may have had a bad time with a previous partner, but making a list of specific criteria a future partner must meet usually has the effect of making people look elsewhere. Even if they match! We all seek Mr. and Miss Right, but turning dating into a job interview removes every ounce of romance and passion from the occasion.

If you wish to use swear words, then save them! Please don’t use them here in your personal ad or conversations and emails. They are generally offensive and turn people off.

Make your personal ad truthful above all things, but also emphasize your best characteristics. Admitting that you are a loner who has no friends will not win you new friends usually. But emphasizing that you are a true individual with unique genuine properties, will.

If you really feel passionate about something say so, don’t try and hide the things that are important to you. If you love partying say so, if your religion is important to you, say so. Be yourself.

Do not pretend that you are willing to fly half way round the world to meet someone if you are not. It’s not fair on anyone including you. If you are really only looking for some one in your state or close to home then stick with that and make it clear.

Always try and reply to people’s messages and reply in a reasonable amount of time, not weeks later. If you are serious about dating, you are serious about replying to personal messages.

Be patient, it takes time to find someone special using personal ads but it does work. After all, it’s just that one special person that you wish to meet. Sometimes you need to chat to quite a few people first. Unfortunately, that is the world we live in. Take your time to complete your personal ads, take your time to chat with many different people, and take your time to get to know someone well.

Think positive and keep thinking positive. The best things in life may be free, but you have still got to find them first!

Dating can be as tricky a business as can trying to find a date. When we begin dating, we often forget to consider what we are looking for in others we would like to meet. We set off with a definite view of the perfect dating partner. The moment we are introduced to someone, or view some photos of profiles or personal ads online – we forget everything! Why is this? Because we are swayed by many factors, in other words, we are not as set in our ways as much as we like to think we are.

Beauty, of course, often holds sway. However much we like to say we are not, there are few of us who wouldn’t date someone attractive. It is in our blood and we would usually say yes to an attractive person. Beauty tends to rub off on those around it, so if we associate ourselves with what we consider are good looks we immediately feel good about ourselves also. Most of us are not models and therefore we tend not to meet those who are but we notice it in the things around us. If you can appreciate something beautiful, then you can also appreciate someone beautiful. To ignore it is a lie.

However, if we simply lived and dated by beauty alone we would be too shallow to succeed in any real sense. We would have 2 dimensional personalities and be uninteresting in any meaningful way. It is often leveled as a criticism in attractive people that they don’t have very strong personalities because they have traded on their looks for too long. Conversely, a conventionally unattractive person can often have a strong and interesting personality to make up for the lack of attractiveness in a physical sense. So it’s clear that as an isolating factor beauty (or more specifically, physical attraction) is to some extent important but it is not the only important thing when dating others.

We look for humor in a person because we want them to feel good by being with us and we want them to feel good about themselves in their decisions. We also want ourselves to feel good and to relax and have fun and a great time. Therefore when we date someone, humor is a must if we are going to ever reach a level of relaxation in the company of that person. Laughter and humor is about creating a mental connection and understanding about the world around us. It is a demonstration of a commonly accepted set of beliefs between us and it allows a demonstration of a level of understanding quickly not known in almost any other form.

When dating others, we look for eye contact upon meeting because it is the most direct sense of understanding and truth and honesty. We almost always look at each other’s eyes first when we meet as this is where we first find attraction. It is beyond me here to explain why that may be but I do like the expression that our eyes are the gateway to the soul. I tend to agree. The smallest change in the glint of our eye conveys so many emotions and it is thus that we first begin our instant relationship.

When dating others we look for common understanding and acceptance. We do not seek partners as judges but as part of our own emotional support system. We like to admire and to be admired, however subtly. In another parlance, we would say that we appreciate and like being appreciated. Either way, we enjoy the company of another because we make each other feel good about themselves. It’s an unspoken understanding. Where relationships begin to crack later is where the understanding and support is replaced by criticism due to internal frustrations of lack of support. Initially when we date, this understanding and acceptance is displayed through many different methods from conversation and laughter in agreement on a topic, to agreement in places to visit on dates and food to eat, drinks to consume, movies to go see etc. It’s all part of agreeing based on a common understanding, finding the common ground between us.

We look for honesty and truth when dating. It can be like one long test, especially when we are not new to the dating game and have had our fingers burned previously. We know that it is within everyone to embellish the truth and unfortunately part of the dating ritual is to talk ourselves up, so sell ourselves as worthy. When this happens we must be careful not to go too far and add things that are untrue. Later our burgeoning relationship could fall apart through such white lies. And yet there are too few of us who stick 100% to the truth alone. There will come a point when we all add in some substance to our conversations to help our image to our date and to be honest this can all be part of the fun. But the basis of honesty has to be maintained when dating otherwise it is a pointless exercise. We are looking to share our quality time with someone so let’s be truthful from the outset.

There is an argument that when we are dating we are seeking someone like ourselves, a reflection of what we already feel about ourselves and the world around us. I think that is a mistaken view. I think what this theory really means is that we want to love and be loved and to allow this to happen we hope to find someone who not only matches some set of important criteria that we set ourselves but also someone who sees the world as we do. Not exactly perhaps, but close enough that we can grow further both as individuals and as a couple.